My last girlfriend was the hottest, sexiest, most intriguing woman I've ever known. The day we met, she walked into the office with testosterone just OOZING. Her hair was short and neat, and I think she may have been wearing men's cologne. I could tell that she really didn't want to train the new girl, and she gave me that look that dykes give hets, the one that says "You just don't know." For a few minutes, I was intimidated. After that, I just wanted her to like me. I knew she was good at what she did, and that everyone in the company respected her. And I remembered her in the company newspaper, the article about how she played pro football. Yum. Anyhow, I had a good idea about how to do the job already, having worked a related job in the company, so, pretty soon she relaxed and realized that I wasn't a total moron. It took her a while to realize that I was flirting, though.
I think it first dawned on her when she came in after I'd worked a shift without her, and the desk was almost exactly set up the way she liked it. She smirked at me, rearranged the pen on the desk, then turned the AC up. Of course, the next time her shift followed mine, the pen was where it was supposed to be, and the room was freezing cold.
Now, I guess, to the unsuspecting eye, that wouldn't look like flirting. It'd seem like I was brown nosing, or sucking up, whatever. But the dynamics between us were electric, and you could just SMELL the chemistry. It wasn't long till we were dating, and she moved a couple doors down from me. For a while, we were inseperable. We were either on the phone with each other, at each other's shifts, fucking, flirting, or asleep.
She had this way of morphing. I could look at her, and watch her change from male to female. One second she'd be sitting there, legs propped open like men do, with a look on her face that I'd never seen from a woman, and the next second, she'd do something, blush a little, tilt her head just a bit, and slide right into feminine mannerisms. It blew me the hell away. I'd be soaking wet just watching her.
I still don't understand quite why that affected me so powerfully. Maybe it's because that's how I want to be: not quite either gender, or both genders at once. And maybe that's one of the reasons I suddenly stopped seeing her. Maybe I was afraid of watching someone so closely be what I wanted to be that it was too much like narcissism.
Before her, it was a secret to my family that I am a dyke. Sometimes.
I think it first dawned on her when she came in after I'd worked a shift without her, and the desk was almost exactly set up the way she liked it. She smirked at me, rearranged the pen on the desk, then turned the AC up. Of course, the next time her shift followed mine, the pen was where it was supposed to be, and the room was freezing cold.
Now, I guess, to the unsuspecting eye, that wouldn't look like flirting. It'd seem like I was brown nosing, or sucking up, whatever. But the dynamics between us were electric, and you could just SMELL the chemistry. It wasn't long till we were dating, and she moved a couple doors down from me. For a while, we were inseperable. We were either on the phone with each other, at each other's shifts, fucking, flirting, or asleep.
She had this way of morphing. I could look at her, and watch her change from male to female. One second she'd be sitting there, legs propped open like men do, with a look on her face that I'd never seen from a woman, and the next second, she'd do something, blush a little, tilt her head just a bit, and slide right into feminine mannerisms. It blew me the hell away. I'd be soaking wet just watching her.
I still don't understand quite why that affected me so powerfully. Maybe it's because that's how I want to be: not quite either gender, or both genders at once. And maybe that's one of the reasons I suddenly stopped seeing her. Maybe I was afraid of watching someone so closely be what I wanted to be that it was too much like narcissism.
Before her, it was a secret to my family that I am a dyke. Sometimes.
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3:29 AM
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